And for my next trick… the juggle!

It’s been a bit of a year, hasn’t it? I don’t just mean good old Rona and the never ending story that is lockdown. Just everything. My children are now 19, 15 and 6. I haven’t seen my eldest, Col, properly, since last September when we had to take our lovely beagle to be put down.

I miss him very, very much. He lives with his Fiancée across town now. We haven’t really even been able to celebrate them getting engaged yet. He used to be a carer which worried me massively because of all of the contact he was having with so many people. Thankfully now he has a job as a contact tracer which means he is working from home. That, at least, is a little reassuring.

Bess is plugging away with her schoolwork. We just got her report. In a way I wish I had done what a friend of mine did and requested that they didn’t send it home. Thankfully Bess is a good student and is on course to get very high marks but I don’t really think measuring them in terms of grades is at all helpful right now. Our kids are living something which is unimaginable and we are still using the same way to measure progress? No, no thank you. I don’t care what she is currently getting in Maths or Dance. I want to know she is managing ok with so little social interaction. Is she keeping up friendships that she will need later? Does she have people her age to vent to about being stuck in the house with us oldies?

Is she coping? Are any of us?

Moose is a different breed to be honest. In a lot of ways he appears to prefer lockdown. We have tried to keep everything upbeat as much as possible so it is fun for him but he really likes home school and never complains so I think we are quite lucky really in that respect. We have good support from his teacher. He does miss his friends and I have made sure that he has video calls regularly with his cousin and his best friend. He absolutely loves those chats. Next week his teacher has organised a little Zoom meeting so that her class can all see each other. He is going to love that!

Boy in the snow in a yellow coat

G is working from home and will be for the forseeable future I think. Can anyone actually imagine that we are all going to return to offices after all of this and work like we did before?! I can’t see it. We are getting on better at the moment than I think we ever have. It’s actually really nice. Maybe we are both just too worn out to pick fights? Maybe seeing what the other does all day has stripped out some of the resentment I suspect was bubbling before lockdown happened. He got to escape, I got to stay home. I dunno. Whatever the reason, I like it.

And me?

I have had the biggest change I think. At the beginning of lockdown G was made redundant. With him being the main breadwinner this was problematic to say the least! I decided that it would be best if I took a look online to see what jobs were around and managed to snag a job as a contact tracer within 30 mins of starting to look! That contract ran it’s course and that was that. Luckily my old manager pointed me in the direction of new contracts with them and I got back into it. There I was happily doing that and home schooling Moose until last month when I got a promotion.

I am now working as a Quality Coach and I absolutely love it! I mean, looking forward to going back after a couple of days off love it. The ideal would be that this continues on a permanent work from home basis but who knows. I am still making cake toppers and writing too so for the first time in quite a long time my life feels quite full and a lot if it is things that make me happy!

Working and kids

I am not going to pretend it is all plain sailing. Going from being completely freelance to having structured working hours and attending meetings has taken a bit of getting used to. For me and for my children. Moose said to me a few weeks ago that he wished I didn’t have a job. That stung a little bit to be honest. I need this though, having a regular income and a job I genuinely like doing has done masses for my mental health.

I know it is a little selfish on my part but I don’t want to give that up. It hurts that Moose felt that way but I have stepped up the time we do have so we “do” more. Well, as much as we can do right now I guess. I think it will be ok though. It has to be really.

So at the moment I am working a 40 hour week but making sure that on my days off we are spending time together. I would love to be able to take him out and about again but that will come in time. For now it’s a Scooby Do style repeat of baking, Lego, movies and Minecraft.

For now that seems to be enough and if I can just be enough then I think I am ok with that.





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