It was a Sunday when the Fuggler arrived. That should have been our first warning that something was very, very wrong..
The parcel arrived on our mat with an audible thud. Loud enough for Moose to hear. At the time I didn’t pay the noise much heed. It was an oversight I would come to regret. So many regrets. You see, once the Fuggler has made its presence known to his chosen child there is sadly not much that their adult can do.
How could we have known what was to come?
Fugglers (for those who have yet to be affected by the coming invasion) are Funny Ugly Monsters. These misunderstood little rascals have come to infiltrate your home. They want nothing less than your utmost attention and if you do decide – even after my warnings – to adopt one then you do so at your own risk.
This is an account by Snuggla the Fuggler (as he was to become known) of the events which took place during our first week together.
I would highly recommend that you stop reading now and find yourself a lovely, happy toy in a fetching pastel colour. Something which plays a tune perhaps. Anything but this..
My first day with the Humans and I decided to befriend the most attractive of the bunch. Fudge appears to be in charge of most of the major decisions in this house so I thought it would be of benefit to me to get her onside. She has lovely teeth, like me!
Last thought of the day: Just because an iPhone does fit into the toaster, it does not mean it should be put in the toaster. iPhones are less tasty than bread.
The Humans have decided that I need to travel with them on something called a “short break”. We have spent the day at Wookey Hole which was full of deep dark caves – perfect for jumping out at unsuspecting tourists. I have discovered ice cream.
Last thought of the day: Cats don’t like to take showers
We have arrived at a place called Butlins. The Humans have promised me that if I am good I will have a lot of fun here. We have already been to the funfair, I like the carousel but I intend to go back when everyone is sleeping to free the horses.
Last thought of the day: If you drop an Oreo you can still safely eat two thirds of it.
I spent some time with Bess today. We travelled by bus to the shops – as you can see, she is warming to me.
Last thought of the day: We eat pizza from the inside out.
A trip to Warwick Castle. I felt very much at home here, especially in the dungeons. Lovely and dark and damp and the humans reminiscing fondly about the time that a whole load of people got the plague. Such fun.
Last thought of the day: Fizzy milk is not okay.
Off to another castle today. My generous offer to drive was declined but I very much enjoyed the trip. Managed to hide myself in the oranges at the supermarket. Moose took ages to find me. Mum was not pleased.
Last thought of the day: I do not have diplomatic immunity.
Kinder eggs are the best thing I have ever seen. Moose kindly shared his with me and I want more. I said I will dedicate my life to tracking down the bird who lays such a wondrous egg. Moose says I am silly. I like him. I think I might just stay with these Humans.
Last thought of the day: Goldfish don’t bounce.
The biggest problem with Fugglers
is that before you know it they will be a part of your Family and you will grow to appreciate their little quirks.
Despite their grotesque appearance they are really just looking for love and who knows, maybe you are just weird enough to be the right Humans for them?
If you are brave enough to think you could offer a home to a Fuggler of your own you can adopt one from Smyths toys where they can be found in large (£24.99) or medium (£14.99)
Each Fuggler is totally unique. Gangly arms, pointy ears, giant heads, small heads – discover what makes your Fuggler weird. They even come with BUTTonholes sewn onto their…well, you know.
Check them out but don’t say I didn’t warn you!
We received the Fuggler in exchange for our honest review. Moose adores him and sleeps with him every night.