Mummy & Moose
clapping, napping and yapping our way through the day

What I have learned about grief 10 years on.

The first thing I should probably note is that, in a way, my grief was expected. The person who died was my Grandparent – and you are meant to lose those.

But not mine. Not so soon.

My Nan was known within our family as Granny Grumbles. Which was quite ironic given that she didn’t, not really. She was the sort of woman who got on and did what she could with what she had. She would tell me that you shouldn’t leave todays jobs for tomorrow. “Keep on top of it, we’ll get you right” she would say (as she launched into last nights washing up which I had lazily bypassed the night before while I would put the kettle on). It made her happy to help, it made me happy not to have to do it myself. It seemed like a good plan at the time.

Granny Grumbles was not a very tall woman but she was pretty fierce.

She had a wicked sense of humour, she loved dolphins and coconut mushrooms and Cliff Richard. A great chef she was not but she made interesting meals which for absolutely no reason whatsoever were sometimes colour coded. She would wrap up small boxes of smarties to hang on her Christmas tree for us to find. Granny Grumbles had inexplicably heavy duvets on her guest beds and a temper which could be shorter than she was. She gave Boa Constrictor level hugs and loved to love.

Her door was always open (not the front door, that wasn’t for family) and when I was younger we lived close by so I visited a lot. As a child we would go to her house for sunday dinner. When I grew older I would stop by on my way from work or to friends and she would make me a jacket potato with cheese or bubble and squeak if I was very lucky and then she would fill me in on all the gossip – unless neighbours was on in which case I knew better than to interrupt.

When I had my first child she visited us on the ward. I remember her holding my newborn in her arms and telling me how perfect he was. She cried when I told her that I was naming him after her youngest son who had unfortunately passed away at a young age.

The now Great Granny Grumbles was so close to my son, Col. He would go for weekends at their caravan and even went with them to Australia for the summer one year to visit my Aunt. I cannot think of many people I would entrust the care of my children to like that. She was on the list though.

My Nan really was my biggest cheerleader.

When I first started making cake toppers she bought me books to help me and insisted that I give her business cards to hand out to the other residents of the sheltered housing where they now lived. She would phone me for updates and gossip and when I said that I was worried about how I would juggle everything in the school holidays she suggested that she could help. By this time we had moved a few counties away but she was determined to be there for me, still.

We would drive to meet her halfway and she would take the children for the holidays so that I could work. She meanwhile would take the children to their caravan in Norfolk and would have the best time. It’s only on reflection now that I can appreciate how much that helped me at the time.

We moved home

In 2008 we moved back to Peterborough and Granny Grumbles was so pleased. By that time Bess was 2 and Col was nearly 8. They loved to spend time with their Great Gran and Grandpop and I loved that their relationship was a close one. A couple of times a week Granny Grumbles would visit and we could chat over coffee. A few months after I moved back, she went off the coffee. She said it gave her indigestion. So I bought some fruit teas and didn’t think anything of it. The heartburn came and went over the following few months but the trouble was that Granny Grumbles never grumbled. She also refused to go and see a Doctor over something as trivial as heartburn. I wish she had.

It was a few months later, after an unfortunate food poisoning incident at my sisters wedding, that I got a phone call. Initially it my Nan on the line but she couldn’t quite get the words out so she passed the phone to my Grandpop.

It was Bowel cancer.

I don’t remember clearly the events that followed. It was all a bit of a blur. It was fast though. The cancer seemed to eat her up and I hated it. I hated that I had to tell my children that their Great Grandma was so unwell. Hated that I saw her shrink before our eyes. I didn’t hear her grumble.

My last conversation (I think? I like to think? I am sure) with her was short but she told me how proud she was of the woman I had become and she told me how much she loved her family, how sorry she was that she wouldn’t be able to stick around but that she knew we would be ok. Yet again trying to be there for us all.

My uncle phoned me to tell me she had passed away peacefully, in her own home (as she had wanted) on the 8th October 2009. She was 68 when she died.

That was a decade ago

At the time I really didn’t understand how life could go on as normal with such a massive hole in it. I was full of rage at the Cancer for taking Granny Grumbles from us and a massive sense of injustice. She was healthy! She was meant to be the one who lived! It wasn’t fair!

That’s not really how it works though, is it. Life (and death) isn’t fair. Things like Cancer can and do appear seemingly out of the blue and they knock us for six when they do.

They say that grief goes away in time. I don’t think that’s true.

I believe that, as some people say, there are stages of grief. They don’t flow in a certain order though and some are harder to move past than others. There is no right or wrong. Perhaps it will take you a year or perhaps you will take decades to even crack the surface. Either way though you should deal with your grief in your own way. Be honest and as open as you can be with those around you. You may feel better if you can support each other. Make sure you take care of yourself, however you choose to work through it.

I think that rather than grief disappearing or getting smaller, you just sort of accept it as part of who you are now. You get used to it so you become more able to deal with the waves of it.

Life grows bigger around the grief with the passing of time so perhaps the grief seems smaller in that sense. New spouses and children are welcomed into the family and life moves forward regardless.

Acceptance means that now I can feel the dull ache of missing her and laugh about memories I have all at the same time or marvel at how much she would have adored those Great Grandchildren that she never had the chance to meet

A new normal is found and, just like Granny Grumbles would have, we get on with it and make the best of what we have.

 

 

 

 

Sort It Out review and giveaway

We were sent this product in exchange for our honest review. All opinions are our own.

We recently had our first glamping experience and by happy fortune we were also sent the Sort It Out game to review. It seems to me that camping/glamping/holidays-with-a-distinct-lack-of-electricity and board games are natural bedfellows so the game was brought along to help us enjoy/survive evening family time.

We were lucky enough to be given a copy of Sort it Out to use in a giveaway too. Stay to the end of the post for your chance to WIN!

Sort it out

sort it out game

What’s in the box?

Inside the Sort It Out box you will find

  • 1 Game Board
  • 4 Moving Pieces
  • 4 Playing Boards
  • 20 Coloured Pegs
  • 250 Topic Cards
  • Instructions

How is it played?

It’s all rather colourful and play is suggested to suit anyone aged 12+.

The first massive difference to most other board games is that everyone plays all at the same time when each card is drawn. The card has a question on it. Players then need to sort the answers into what they believe to be the correct order on their playing boards using the corresponding coloured pegs.

This could mean that you get to show off your in depth knowledge of the periodic table or perhaps the monarchy… or it could mean that despite never having watched an episode in your life, you correctly answer the age order of the Kardashians. Either way, it’s a win. For every coloured peg placed in the correct position on your playing board you are able to move forward 1 space on the game board. Easy peasy.

What did we think?

Well, Sort It Out certainly provided a distraction during the evenings of our glamping trip. We had a lot of fun playing the game with 13 year old Bess. She did struggle with a couple of cards but then, so did I! A great thing about this game is that I found that I picked up facts I hadn’t previously known along the way.

I quite liked that the gameplay wasn’t massively long and found it easy to set up and learn the rules. We will definitely be playing Sort It Out again and I think that it could be even more fun if it is played in teams! You can find SORT IT OUT at Argos

Win

For your chance to win your very own copy of Sort It Out, enter the giveaway!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Terms and Conditions
  • This giveaway is open to all UK residents only, and you must be over 18 years of age to enter.
  • ONE winner will be chosen via Rafflecopter and announced on this page.
  • The winner will be contacted by e-mail within 7 days of competition ends. If they do not respond within 28 days another winner may be chosen.
  • Your details will be passed to Paul Lamond Games, but will not be passed onto any third parties by Mummy and Moose.
  • The prize will be sent directly to the winner from Paul Lamond Games.
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Avenue Q at The New Theatre Peterborough – View from my seat

I was gifted tickets in exchange for my honest review.

All opinions remain my own (with slight influence from the bad idea bears)

Avenue Q is not like your average musical

When I was invited to the recently rebranded and refurbished New Theatre, Peterborough to watch Avenue Q this week, I really didn’t know what to expect. I knew there would be puppets. I knew there would be songs. It was made pretty clear that it would be rude. That was the extent of my knowledge about the show.

What’s The Story?

The show centres around the residents of Avenue Q.

There is Princeton, a bright-eyed graduate who comes to New York City with big dreams and a tiny bank account.

Brian the out-of-work comedian and his therapist fiancée Christmas Eve; Nicky the good-hearted slacker and his closet gay Republican roommate Rod.

An Internet ‘sexpert’ called Trekkie Monster, Lucy the Slut (yes, really!) and a very cute kindergarten teacher named Kate Monster.

Avenue Q first opened Off-Broadway at the Vineyard Theatre in 2003, before transferring to Broadway later that year where it won three Tony Awards for Best Musical, Best Score and Best Book. In 2006 it transferred to the West End where it ran for five years before touring the UK. It has appeared in more than ten countries all over the world. This show is really popular and with good reason!

Family night out?

Although it all looks like an episode of Sesame Street, do not be fooled. It is definitely not for kids. I would say 14 and up would be absolutely fine if they aren’t particularly sensitive.  I was going to bring 13 year old Bess along but I have to be honest and say I was glad I decided to wait and take her next year. One particular scene was about as graphic as a scene with puppets could possibly be – and utterly hilarious. That said, I would have no qualms about listening to the soundtrack with her.

After years of watching shows like The Furchester Hotel and imagining the characters dropping the F word (Oh come on, as if you haven’t imagined Flop finally snapping at Bing!?) I feel like this show is aimed directly at me and people like me.

I went to see the show with my Mum and we both found it to be laugh out loud funny. The 2 and a half hour runtime (with 15min interval) absolutely flew by. I loved the characters and the way that the whole thing played out. Despite some of the gags and songs being very close to the knuckle, Avenue Q has a real feel good quality about it.

I have been humming “Everyone’s a little bit racist” for near on 24 hours now. The underlying message of the show is that life is short and that everything,even Boris Johnson, as the cast sang (to applause) is only for now and if you can fit the word Schadenfreude into a musical number, you definitely should.

Avenue Q is playing at The New Theatre, Peterborough until Saturday 28 September.

New Theatre

I decided to attend my first show at New Theatre with my Mum who happens to have arthritis and a blue badge. My first memories of being here were of seeing Peter Pan in this building at what was then the Odeon at Christmastime when I was very young (probably with my Dad, while Mum ran round the shops I imagine)

Sometimes Mums limited mobility can pose a bit of a problem but New Theatre appear to have it covered! We were able to park very close to the theatre and there was an accessible entrance with a lift to avoid the steps at the front of the building. There was a disabled seating area on the upper level and disabled toilet. We hadn’t been assigned seats there but it’s useful to know for the future. New Theatre, Peterborough also offers complimentary tickets to essential carers for disabled visitors

Our seats

I was a bit worried when I saw that our seats were to the side. In some theatres your view can be somewhat restricted – sometimes by a huge amount.

For this performance we had been assigned seats P8 and P9 which come under the slightly less expensive price bracket. I would definitely choose these seats again.

View from seat P8 New Theatre Peterborough

View from seat P8 New Theatre Peterborough

 

They were roomy enough for my size 22 bottom and had loads of legroom. Mum was pleased that her seat on the aisle was angled in such a way that she felt well supported and could stretch out if need be. Our view of the stage was great with no restriction really at all.

At one point I did go to seat P1 to see what a seat with a restricted view would be like. I took a photo of the stage from P1 and as you can see, the restriction is really minimal.

I am really excited to see what’s next for  New Theatre, Peterborough. It’s such an iconic building in our city and I cannot wait to make new memories here with my family.

View from seat P1 New Theatre Peterborough

View from seat P1 New Theatre Peterborough

 

Back To School And Cream of Tomato Soup Recipe With Piccolo Tomatoes | Ad

This a paid collaboration. All opinions remain honest and my own. 

Moose isn’t keen on vegetables. My two eldest lulled me into a false sense of security by eating pretty much anything I put in front of them. I thought I had it all worked out as I watched my darling little ones gobble down salads or curries or the odd stir fry.

Then Moose came along to humble me.

He has shown me that just because you think you know what you are doing as a parent. Just because something worked for one child (or two) it definitely does not necessarily mean it will work for all.

So. With Moose I have had to be crafty with veg. I have had to plan out how to hide vegetables in meals. How to pack as many nutrients into a meal as is possible – and also how to just accept that he will eat vegetables when he is ready and in his own way.

When I was approached recently by Gautier Semences, the providers of piccolo tomato seeds to British nurseries and asked to write about Piccolo tomatoes I took it as a challenge.

How could I best use them in a way that Moose would eat them.

Piccolo tomatoes are a small vine tomato, they have a sweet taste which means that they appeal to younger palates – and older ones with a sweet tooth like I do! They are originally from Latin America and were introduced to Europe during the 16th century. The French called it the “apple of love”.

Piccolos are low in calories but high in nutrients such as vitamin C and Lycopene which is an antioxidant said to help prevent heart disease and certain cancers!

My delivery of Piccolo tomatoes was sent from Glinwell Nurseries which are not too far from us. Although I am far from green fingered I do still prefer to buy British fruit and veg where I can to keep my carbon footprint low and to be able to watch Panorama specials with a clear conscience because I know I am doing what I can.

Piccolo tomatoes are so versatile.

My delivery arrived while the children were at school. I couldn’t wait to get started though! The first meal I had with the tomatoes was a simple cheesy pasta dish which I added a few roasted piccolo tomatoes to. A really easy way to add nutrients to a lunch and what goes together better than cheese and tomato? In my opinion, pretty much all veg taste better when roasted.

After school I showed Moose the tomatoes. He wasn’t quite brave enough to try one raw but he was excited to help me make soup!

We had so much fun getting all of the ingredients together and making a lovely cream of tomato soup which was packed full of vitamins. Moose scoffed the lot! I can’t think of anything more enticing after a day back at school than to sit down to cream of tomato soup and fresh bread. Knowing that this was my own take on a classic and didn’t have any nasty additives in it was even better!

I prefer to remove the skins from tomatoes before making soups or sauces with them. There is a really easy trick to this (thanks Mum). You have to score an X into each tomato, pop them into a pan of boiling water for 1 minute and then transfer to an ice bath or very cold water. The skin comes away really easily.

Cream of tomato soup

Ingredients

  • 800g Piccolo tomatoes
  • tbsp butter or some spray oil
  • 1 red onion (I used ready chopped frozen onion)
  • Carrot (I used a tin of sliced carrots I found in the back of the cupboard. Drain them though)
  • 1 clove of garlic
  • Basil leaves to taste (I used 3)
  • 400ml Chicken stock

You could also add roasted peppers but I didn’t this time.

Method

  • Fry off the chopped onion in the oil/butter for a few minutes until softened- add the carrot if not using the tinned variety.
  • Add the squashed clove of garlic (don’t bother chopping it, it will be whizzed up later anyway)
  • Add the tomatoes and basil leaves and simmer on a low heat. I left mine for around 20 minutes. You can cook down a bit more but I know that nutrients are lost with a longer cooking time.
  • Pour in the chicken stock
  • Simmer for a few more minutes
  • Use a stick blender to get rid of all of the lumps (aka evidence)
  • Season and add a dollop of cream or creme fraiche if you forgot the cream and your rubbish corner shop only stock creme fraiche <fume>
  • Present your finished soup to your darling child and rub your hands with glee while they eat up all of their veg without complaint.
  • Help yourself to some yourself because you made it with spray oil so it is very Slimming World friendly. Hurrah!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Living Arrows week 36 2019

“You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth”

Each week I like to (try and) link up to a series called Living arrows which is about celebrating childhood. You can find out more here

The first photo this week was taken on a trip we made to our local farm. Moose had a real issue with his nerves (or so I thought) and always seemed to hesitate when trying new things – especially physical things. Since he started wearing glasses to correct a lazy eye he seems to have become a bit braver. Maybe it wasn’t his nerves after all!

The second photo is of Bess and Moose on their first day back to school. Summer flew by and now I have a little boy in year 1 (which seems so much bigger than having a little one in reception somehow?) and Bess is starting year 9. Year 9 means the beginning of GCSE’s for Bess. GCSE’s! Already! The school has decided to stretch what was a 2 year course in my day (aka eons ago) to a 3 year course. I think it will be a good thing for the students but time will tell on that one..

 

 

Living Arrows